You must have read about handwriting analysts. What about body-language scouts? Is there a study of the mannerisms of individuals that can be used as a tool to reach the top of the success ladder?
When you non-verbally communicate (consciously or sub-consciously) to a person or group, then your body language comes into play. The kinesics, gestures, movements and postures talk much more than your voice. Your shrug, wave and any other form of gesticulation converse your feelings without words. How many times have you just nodded your head for a “No”, without uttering a monosyllable?
15 Bad Body Language Slip-ups Successful People Never Do
Body language is now a separate branch of mass communication study where in-depth research is progressively happening on the nuances of this art. So, the big question is… do people by nature possess their own style of internal body messaging system or is it a cultivated science?
The answer is, both. Analysts have followed the body language of successful people and formulated theories on how to harness this form of connection to achieve great things in life.
It is not wrong to say that it has become an obsession of many to scrutinize what others are doing with their facial expressions, eye and hands movement, and touch too.
You are now going to receive one of the most valuable lessons of your lifetime. Here are some 15 secrets on how to use the language of the body to succeed; revealed just for you. Read on and use these trendy tip offs…a great guide to fame and prosperity.
1. No slouching
A slouch screams aloud the weakness of an individual. It is a sign of under-confidence and in some cases construed as disrespectful. People unknowingly slouch when they are bored or disinterested. Avoid slumping during interviews, meetings and in conferences. A straight-backed posture tells more about your attentiveness.
Coupled with facial expressions, this drooping posture manifests as a negative vibe silently saying “Why in the world I am here?” So, consciously nurture the tendency to sit upright and smart. Do not dilly-dally.
2. No wild gesticulations
Exaggerated gestures tend to distract a listener. That is why politicians are safely ensconced behind a podium and debate only with their mouth and less of their hands.
This is to get the message across loud and clear to the audience. Mild gesticulations make people form a sub-conscious decision that the person in front of them is no-nonsensical and therefore, dependable. Nowadays, primetime TV anchors use a lot of hand movements when conducting interviews or chatting live.
But how healthy is the trend? How do you feel when you see someone in front of you using their hands to talk? It is natural to wig-wag but do not let these gestures distract the listener from what you are actually trying to say. So, speak with words and not your arms.
3. Do not stare at the clock
So, you have a client meeting you in your office cabin. You are really busy and the customer takes more time than necessary. Will you look at the clock?
It is a complete no-no to look at the clock, time and again when you have an audience watching you.
It may be your boss whom you are meeting with or even an irritating salesman. When your eyes move to a clock in the room you are communicating as, “When will you leave? Can’t you see that I don’t have time for you?” Your eyes indirectly say, “Get out”.
How much more explicit can you get. Avoid even looking in the direction where the clock is. Cultivate this as a habit.
4. Do not turn your head elsewhere
When you are dictating statements to your secretary or meeting with a fellow business man, it is important to present your demeanor as one who is paying attention and listening.
If you are looking out the window and talking at the same time to a person sitting across your desk waiting for your reply, what are you trying to tell? This off-putting behavior usually intimidates the listener and they tend to lose focus on what you are trying to say.
Even your secretary may feel ill-treated and make errors. Give an ear to what the other person is saying or at least show that you are fully concentrating on the discussion at hand.
5. No crossed arms and legs
How many times you must have crossed your legs while sitting? It is such a common posture that people do not even realize that they are doing it.
Psychoanalysts are still investigating on the total impact of this body language on the minds of onlookers. Crossing legs showcases a hidden meaning that you have a closed attitude.
So, you do not completely satisfy the person in front as your bearings causes a sense of uncertainty in their minds. You expose yourself as a person who is not in agreement with what the other is saying.
This does not bode well with superiors, customers and even your associates. Avoid this embarrassing stance. Sit with your legs slightly apart and let others see that you are an open person. Leaders never cross their legs!
6. Words and Facial Expressions. Inconsistent?
The disparity between what your face is saying and what you mean by words is a proven negative factor that has resulted in the downfall of numerous famous persons.
Your words may ring true but if the facial expression is inconsistent with what you are talking, then the outcome is totally disastrous.
You lose the trust of your audience, then and there. This is considered a deviating form of defending certain arguments with a wrong look. Your words may feel sorry for an employee but your face may appear otherwise.
It is easy to see that you are lying, as you clearly do not mean what you are saying.
7. No excessive nodding
A nod means differently in varied world cultures. Some may think it as a `yes’ whereas the others may interpret it as a `no’. It is a puzzling gesture in most cases. So, what is the solution? Just answer with a simple “Yes” or a definite “No”.
What are you trying to say to your boss when you vigorously shake your head for an answer? It creates a doubt in the mind of your superior that you actually did not listen.
It is a very confusing message that you are sending across. Practice to nod just once or twice and nothing extra. Anything in excess only leads to chaos and misunderstanding.
8. Do not fidget
It is a misconception that you fidget with your hands only. Your torso, legs and also your head plays a part in this restless movement. This portrays a sense of nervous energy that cannot be contained internally and projects an uneasy release.
This body language is associated with all things negative. Anxiousness, nervousness, inner conflict, low confidence and a weak personality – fidgeting manifests all these unconstructive traits and many more. Breathe in and out and calm yourself before facing an interviewer.
Do not touch your hair often or squirm in your seat. This edgy gesture sends signals that you are uncomfortable and therefore, not in a state of mind to continue with the conversation.
9. Zero eye contact
“He’s not looking into my eyes. He’s lying.” It is common knowledge that roving eyes are not reliable. Maybe you do not have the required confidence to face that person.
Clearly, even when you do not establish direct eye-to-eye contact then the reciprocating persons can still see you. Can’t they? Confident speakers establish contact with each and every individual in the audience. It proves that they know what they are speaking about.
This is one of the basic forms of communication where with a look of an eye you can enthrall an auditorium of people. Remember to keep it normal and natural. Neutral eye contact is the key.
10. Shun aggressive eye contact
Avoid staring intently for long as this is termed as an aggressive look. You can find dictators sporting this hostile look. With this withering look you immediately cause discomfort in the minds of the onlooker.
The result is that your employee will tend to hide things from you just to avoid your volatile temper. You don’t have to say anything if only a ‘look can kill’. It is best to maintain a amiable but stern relationship with your employees.
Helps you get work done quicker and of course, with a high-quality end result.
11. No eye rolling
When you roll your eyes at someone you are communicating your thoughts as, “You are a fool. I do not believe you.” This contemptuous gesture indicates that you are cynical about what the other is saying. In common it is a disrespectful body language which must not be used on your boss, superiors or clients.
Keep it with your friends, who do not mind what you are doing or saying. But for others avoid this ‘rolling eye’ act, as this appears ridiculous, dramatic, and offensive to watch.
12. Frowning or Scowling – a definite no-no
Are you not-so-happy? Then take a break and sleep it off rather than frowning all the way to office and back. You are now a walking downer who is depressing all and sundry whom you meet. Science says that a smile works wonders for not only your body system but also, for the people seeing you. When you scowl (or sulk) you invariably turn people away. It sets of a bad mood spree where it acts as a deterrent to your family, friends and co-workers. When you suffer your work suffers. Tackle the issue that is causing you sadness rather than spreading gloom.
13. How about a firm handshake
Will you be content if someone categorizes you as a weakling? And what if that someone is your boss? A weak handshake lowers your level of commitment, authority and self-assurance in the mind of the receiver. The secret of a perfect handshake is to let your hand be on level with the other person’s. In this manner you are proving your loyalty with a single hand shake. Successful businessmen believe in establishing a relationship with a firm greeting and sealing the contract. Give room for your clients to understand that you are looking forward to shake their hands. First impression is the best impression!
14. Relax your clenched fists
Your colleague is yelling and you can feel the anger rising. There is a heated argument and you reply back with words but your fists are clenched. What does this denote? It is for all to see that you are ready for a good fight. This is no way of controlling the rage that is bubbling inside you.
This body language type makes your opponent go further on the offensive and the result is that there is no end to the unleashed fury. It works best for both parties if there is a sense of back-stepping that is effectively communicated across with the right pose.
Unclenched fists do not weaken your position but shows your willingness to consider what the other person is trying to say. No one is faultless. Maybe this is not the time to explain to your co-worker your standpoint in the discussion.
But let your body language speak what you are trying to say even though your mind feels something else. Crossed legs and arms with clenched fists are clear-cut indicators that you are all set to rough it out.
15. Do not get too close
Respect each other’s space. It works best when you and your partner are in a romantic mood but not in an office space or during business dealings. When you approach a person really closely (especially at work) it symbolizes an aggressive mind-set.
Keep respectable distance from each other as this creates a sense of comfort with both.
Give personal space and do not cross the invisible circle that people tend to unconsciously create around them. Invading another’s space causes uneasiness and awkwardness.
Use your common sense in dealing with closeness based on the relationship standards with each and every person you are associated with (professionally and personally).
Everyone’s behavior is an open book as mannerisms speak volumes about a person’s characteristics and psychology, much before words do. When communicating, it is 50 % words and 50 % your body language. So, let others adjudge you rightly. Work on the nuances of your gesture, posture and demeanor. Impress the world with your body language!